


DAY 18 - "Dad, I can explain!"

by E_Leonora



Series: Taboo January writing challenge 2020 [18]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, French Kissing, Homophobia, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Neck Kissing, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-18 23:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22301368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_Leonora/pseuds/E_Leonora
Summary: When a father sees his son in man's embrace.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Series: Taboo January writing challenge 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588636
Comments: 2
Kudos: 138
Collections: Taboo_January_Writing_Challenge_2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The story is longer than I planned, so I decided to split it in two. I will finish second chapter in February. Second chapter will be much longer than this one.

The detective and the suspect exchanged kisses in the toilet. They had been lovers in secret for some time, but sometimes they could not restrain themselves in exchanging tenderness even during the working day. They knew they had to be careful, but sometimes they made risky moves.

They were closed in one of the toilet stall and were kissing passionately. They got a little carried away and were absent longer than usual.

Light began to moan softly when L attacked his neck with wet kisses. Detective gently licked his sensitive skin, with a strong desire to leave a mark so that everyone know who he belonged to. 

But he knew it was just a fantasy.

They were immersed in their world and didn't hear when someone opened the door.

Chief Yagami stepped into the toilet room and heard the familiar sound. Sound of a chain. He immediately thought of two young people. His son and the detective. He knew they had gone somewhere, so he thought one of them was in the toilet. But he was immediately disturbed, when he noticed that both of them were in the toilet stall. That shouldn't be a normal occurrence. His son should have at least that much privacy.

He started moving quietly and walked toward the stalls. He bent down and found out exactly where they were.

And he didn't like what he saw. He did not like the position of their feet at all. Then, as he concentrated a little more on the surrounding sounds, he could hear soft moans and quiet sighs. Blood froze in his veins. 'No, that's not possible.' 

He thought it was just a bad dream and that he would wake up soon. 

His adrenaline levels increased and he struggled to stay calm. He took a deep breath and prepared himself mentally for what he could see inside, then put his hand on the door knob and opened the door. For a moment he thought they were locked, but the door opened easily. The scene before him was devastating. His son was in the arms of a detective in whom Chief Yagami had unlimited trust and respect. 

They heard him when he opened the door, and they immediately pulled away from each other, but too late. Soichiro Yagami already saw them hugging and kissing. 

For gods sake. The detective kissing the neck of his one and only son, of whom he was very proud, and in which he poured all his hopes. 

All that he knew and felt about two young people so far had shattered into a million pieces.

Light's eyes widened in shock. Not even Detective L had indifferent expression on his face. But the father had a focus on his son.

"Dad, I can explain!"

Too late.

All three were intelligent enough and knew that there was not much to explain.

Everything was clear.

But the son still wanted to justify his actions. To fix the damage that was made. Why didn't he think about it before? Why was he in such a situation at all?

"Why...?"

He saw the broken look and disappointment on his father's face. He knew nothing would be the same as before.

The detective remained silent and watched the situation from the side. He didn't want to interfere between father and son. And he knew that he deeply failed the man. Perhaps to the extent of being let down by his own son.

"...aren't you ashamed of what you do?" The older man asked in a quiet and collected voice, that hurt more than any outburst of anger.

Light swallowed hard, and began to shake as if he were getting a panic attack. "Dad..."

"No, Light. Not now. We're going home and this show ends now."

They knew he was right. Now the whole investigation hangs on the thread, thanks to them playing with fire. They put their feelings in front of all. They thought that someday they would be accepted or maybe that they could always be together in secret... They didn't know it themselves.

But now, everything it's over. And their lives will be turned upside down.

This time, Chief Yagami had the main word. And he decided to end the investigation here, for himself and for his son.

"Light, let's go. Ryuzaki, take off the handcuffs."

And the detective obeyed. He unlocked the handcuff that was attached to Light's wrist.

He felt broken. He knew that he had lost forever the man of his life. That he lost the love he barely found. The only one he has had so far.

"Dad..."

"Not now, Light."

Light wanted to object, to tell his father that he was doing injustice. That two of them truly love each other. That this is not just an ordinary affair. But he knew his father well, and knew he would not believe him. After all, his father don't believe in romantic love between two men. For him, that is simply against nature, something that should not happen in the world, but it happens for some twisted reason. Light expected from L to maybe help him negotiate his father, but L just kept his head bent down.

Soichiro Yagami stood straight with a stern look on his face, waiting for Light to follow. But his son hesitated, so he spoke, "Light, come on, we don't have all day."

Light stared at him, then turned his eyes back to L. L looked back and nodded in approval. Light wanted to kiss him, at least for the last time, but he decided against it. His heart was breaking because he had to walk away from him. He gritted his teeth, wiped the tears from his eyes that started to form, and took a deep breath. He reminded himself that he should not feel guilty, because they were not doing anything wrong. Even though they were hiding as if they did.

He planned to explain to his father, when they calm down a bit. He hoped that his father could change his mind. Although he knew that the chances are low, he still had the hope that everything would be sorted out and that he would be again with the man he loves.


	2. Chapter 2

Light looked like a zombie. He had dark circles under his eyes as cause of constant crying and sleepless nights. He had lost weight from eating poorly. He still had good grades, but didn't communicate with his schoolmates. He was only going to school and back home to be alone and isolated from everyone. His mother was worried about him, but his father always said it would pass him. He explained to her that Light was in such state probably because of unrequited love or some teenage stage.

Sachiko was suspicious, but when she tried to talk to her son, Light merely remained silent and denied any attempt to communicate. He didn't want to talk to his sister, or his father as well. He has completely alienated himself from the rest of the world.

While they were driving back home that day, Chief Yagami told Light that he definitely will not accept his sexuality. He told him that he has to cure by himself, or that he will guide him to a psychiatrist. That he needs to find a girl, get married and have a family. That a relationship with another man will destroy him, that it is against nature and so on... Light stopped listening to him when he began to speak all that nonsense. He forbade him to tell his mother and sister what had happened, as not to hurt their feelings, and told him that his mother, Sachiko, didn't deserve to know about it, because she will be broken.

And Light obeyed him. He didn't talk about it, but he couldn't function normally either. And he refused to go to a psychiatrist. He said he will heal on his own, and that one day he would pass it, but he left out part - only when I'll be dead.

...

L stayed in Japan to work on the case. He was determined to solve Kira's case with or without Light and his father. 'Maybe this is for the best,' he thought. The rest of the team stayed with him even though Chief Yagami left. But L didn't tell them what had happened. Everyone was suspicious, but L said he will tell them the real reason when they resolve the case. 

"You all can stay or leave, it's upon you." He said that day. No one asked any more questions about it since then.

Days and months went by. Detective missed his lover dearly. At times, he was feeling unmotivated, and depressed, but Watari always managed to cheer him up somehow and motivate him to keep working on the case.   
L was very grateful for that. He knew he was fortunate to have such a person for a friend, for a helper, and co-worker. 'Who knows what would have happened if it wasn't for Watari...' he often thought. The first days were the hardest, but somehow he overcame it.

He didn't hear a word about Light. Chief Yagami didn't relent in his decision to keep his son away from him. Even his phone number was changed, or was the phone turned off. It was always off when L tried to reach him. And he didn't reply to the mails either.

'I just hope that he is fine...'

L decided that when he resolves Kira case he will look for Light and explain to Light's father some things. He was determined not to give up on the love of his life, though at first he was sure it was over. 'There must be some hope... I won't give up so easily.'

...

As time went on, Light's condition worsened. He was easily sick, he was often cold and often lying in bed or just sitting by the window. He also went to school less often.

One day, Sachiko came into his room with the intention of starting a conversation with him once again. "Light, son...?"

But her son paid no attention to her. Although he listened to her, he did not return a word. "Light, please tell me at least something... tell me what bothers you so much?"

Light sat still, refusing to start the conversation. His mother sighed loudly, seeing that there was not much chance of making him talk. But even though her son refused to talk, she was still able to speak, and this time she decided to do just that.

She knew Light would at least listen, if nothing else. She knelt beside him and grabbed his arm, and began to speak, though she didn't even know how to start: "Light, my son... I don't know why you refuse to talk to me, but I want you to know that whatever bothers you, you can tell me freely. You always knew you can trust me. So far, there have not been any problems, but, what happened this time that you don't want to entrust me... Light, please, I don't want to lose you. I love you so much, my child."

Tears began to gather in Light's eyes, but he remained silent. He had a desire to tell her what happened, but he refrained from talking. He knew that it won't solve the situation, but probably make it worse.

Sachiko sighed deeply again as she saw that her words had no effect on her son as she had expected. "Light..." she began to speak again. She felt very helpless. Her son was falling apart before her eyes and she was unable to help him. And neither was her husband very helpful as he kept saying the same thing, that Light was depressed because of the unrequited love of some girl who had left him.

"I know this must be something very important, so please tell me no matter what it is. I promise, I'm ready for any answer."

'Really? If only you knew the truth, mom...' Light wouldn't stand it if his mother hated him too, but he no longer wanted to hide the truth from her. 'What if I tell her only part of the truth?' he began to toy with the idea. Yet, he wasn't ready to tell her that he was in a relationship with a man.

"Are you sure, mother?" He spoke finally, in a barely audible voice.

"Yes, I'm sure." Sahiko started to feel a glimmer of hope.

Light became nervous at the thought of telling her about his sexuality. He gritted his teeth and shifted in his seat. His heart started to beat faster, and the words couldn't leave his mouth. He soon began to regret that decision.

His throat tightened and soon the fear started to dominate him. By now he had felt sadness, depression, indifference and this new feeling had somehow awakened him. He looked into his mother's face. He opened his lips to utter those words, but soon he shut them back. Still, he couldn't look her in the eye and tell her that. He felt ashamed and worthless. Then he started to get angry with himself because he felt that way. A mixture of emotions overtook him.

Then he looked out the window, and stared at the roofs of the houses in the distance. He took a deep breath and spoke, loud enough for his mother to hear him clearly, "mother, I am gay."

He kept staring out the window, waiting for his mother's reaction. He didn't see her surprised expression. She was taken aback by his statement but wasn't angry about it. She squeezed his hand, which she still held in hers. She smiled slightly and let out the breath she was holding. "My son, you should have told me that a long time ago. You don't have to get depressed because of that. I won't give up on you because of that."

Light blinked his eyes several times, because he thought that he didn't hear her well. He looked in her direction, and saw a slight smile on her face. On her eyes he didn't see any accusation.

"I believe you're in this condition because of your father. I'll talk to him as soon as he gets home from work," she spoke after brief pause.

Light was still looking at her with that surprised look. The woman stood up and hugged him. He started to sob when she tightened embrace. He worried so much about how his mother would react, that this brought him great relief. This unexpected acceptance completely broke him and he burst into tears.

Sachiko stayed with him for a while until he calmed down. Then he lay down on his bed and she left him alone to sleep.

Light was feeling a little better the next day, but he still hadn't changed his behavior. He ate little, he just studied and went to school. His mother hoped that he will get better, but nothing significant had changed. Her husband declined to further explain the situation, but confirmed to her that he had learned of Light's sexuality.

Also, her husband explained his view of the matter. Sachiko wanted to convince him, that he accept Light the way he was, but Soichiro was convinced that Light will recuperate from it and that he will continue a normal life. So in the end, Light's parents didn't share the opinion. The two have since been in a tense relation.

Light missed the detective very much, but he didn't dare to contact him. He knew his father wouldn't allow it. He had already explained to him that he didn't want to see them together ever again. And it was very important to Light his father's opinion of him.

It had already passed too much time, and Light thought that L had already forgotten him and moved on.

...

One morning Light pass out in the kitchen and fortunately Sayu was at home so she called an ambulance who immediately took him to the hospital.

Light was in a terrible state. The doctor said he was in a state of hypersomnia, but that they will do some more testing. "It all seems to me that he was in a state of depression, which is also evident from his condition that this is probably the case. But we'll do more tests." Doctor explained to Sachiko and Sayu, who had been with Light all day. His father had been visiting him too, but had not spoken to his wife since things had got worse. Everyone was questioned about Light's condition and behavior before accident.

When Light was awake, the nurses would give him tranquillizers. He still refused to speak to the doctor and spoke only as much as he had to.

The conclusion, in the end, was that he got into that condition because of depression. Everything was tidy and he had no other health issues.

On the fifth day, Light was again in a long sleep state. Although he was not aware of it, he had a visitor that day.

The black-haired man slowly entered the room. He closed the door behind him and paused for a moment, stunned by the scene he saw before him. Then he approached the bed. He stared at the sleeping man and hardly recognized him. Light has changed a lot since they last saw each other. He reached out his hand and traveled his fingers gently across man's hair and face. Then he bent down to kiss his forehead and his dry lips.

He was overjoyed to finally be able to see him and at the same time sad that Light was in such a horrible state. He spoke softly, "I'm sorry Light. So sorry that I wasn't man enough and fought for you." 

Now L was feeling regret that he hadn't looked for him much earlier and went to see him. He pulled a chair to the bed and sat beside him. He placed his right hand on Light's arm and remained seated next to him in silence.

After about half an hour, L heard the door open. He looked to see who had come in. 'You have to be kidding me,' was his only thought at that moment, as Light's father approached him and began to speak in an irritated voice. "L, what are you doing here? I told you to stay away from my son!"

"Yes, you said, but I'm afraid I can't stick to it this time. Light is in very bad condition and I need to be beside him."

"Forget it! My son is in this condition because of you! Your presence is bad for him and I will not allow you to be close to him. Doctors here will cure him of that nonsense. Soon everything will be as it was before."

"Nothing will be like it was before. Don't you see that your son's condition is only worsening?" The detective retorted irritated.

"And it's your fault! Light will be fine. I found a good psychiatrist. When he gets a little better, he will come here to treat him. And Light will not leave the hospital until he is completely cured and I will take care of it." Chief Yagami was persistent.

"No, that's only your fault, because you don't want to accept him the way he is. Homosexuality can't be treated because it is not a disease. You try to repair your son in vain... he will only get worse."

"Nonsense. You better leave now, L. Or I'll call security to get you kicked out."

"Nobody's going to get me out of here. I'm not leaving Light until I hear directly from him that he wants me to leave."

They didn't stop arguing, and Light heard L's voice through his sleeping, and began to wake up. It was difficult for him to return to his waking state, but slowly he began to open his eyes. His heart was beating fast. He wanted to see the man whose voice he heard through his dream.

At first, he saw them like through the mist, and then his eyes sharpened, and he focused his look on the two people standing by his bed. Indeed, he saw a man he thought would never see again. At first, he didn't catch what the two people were talking about, but after a few seconds his mind returned to fully awakeness, so he began to understand the topic of the conversation, and the fact that L was talking to his father. 'L and my father? No!' He began to panic, but managed to spoke only in a low voice: "L...?"

The two men turned and looked in his direction. L immediately came closer to the bed. "Light!" He spoke with joy, and tears began to form in his eyes, but he wiped them away.

"L! Ryuzaki! Get away from my son. I didn't give you permission to be so close to him." Soichiro had already started pulling him by the arm to get him away from Light. "That's enough. You've seen him, leave now and don't come back!"

"You can't tell me what to do! Light has to decide for himself who he wants or doesn't want to see."

Light looked at him, confused, and a little scared. He did not want to oppose to his father. "L..."

"Shhhh, Light. I'm here. And this time I'm not going anywhere..."

Soichiro started again, "I'm going to call security."

"Dad..."

"Mr. Yagami... don't make things worse."

"I'm making things worse ?? You're the one making them worse because you came here. You corrupted my son to be what he is. Until he knew you, he was a normal kid, a normal boy and now... look, just look at him. You destroyed him and I only want to fix him."

Light felt as if his heart break halfway from his father's words. Tears began to flow down his face, and he was shaking slightly.

"You are wrong. I didn't destroy him... The point is that you do not know your son well to -"

"Don't speak nonsense. As if you know what it's like to have children..."

"I may not know, but I know that Light was homosexual even before we met."

Chief Yagami grimaced at the word and continued: "Silence! I don't want a person like you around my child..."

Light watched them quietly while he cried softly. He was scared and wanted the fight to end as soon as possible. 

"Please stop arguing..." he said at once.

They both looked in his direction. This time his father came closer to him, but Light pulled away. "Light it will be fine. I just need to get this freak out of here..."

The detective blinked at the insult and spat back losing his composure: "Freak? Are you not ashamed?" 

"Freak, of course you're a freak. Normal people are normal people. And men should love women and not other men. It's a disease and it's against all the laws of nature..."

"Against the laws of nature, yes of course. I have heard it repeatedly from homophobes..."

"And I thought you were an intelligent man and that you could deduce such obvious things by yourself."

"Tsch... the classic answer. But let me tell you how it really is. The human race has more types of sexuality for a reason. And only heterosexual couples have the ability to reproduce, again for a reason. Don't you see a problem on our planet?"   
Detective paused, but Chef Yagami remained silent. So L continued: "If there were no wars, the situation would be worse. Overpopulation. The normal natural cycle was broken. And we wonder why? Well, because some people were very smart, just like you now, and for all homosexual people, they started to say that it was against nature, or worse, that it was sin. And in some countries, punishments have begun to be imposed. And of course people were afraid. Those were dark ages for them. So, they were trying to change or hide. They marry women against their will to make children like any other 'normal' people. And that no one would find out about their sexuality that was against all laws. Women, too. That is why it is as it is. The role of different types of sexuality is to bring balance, not the downfall of the human race. If people functioned normally, life in the society would be much better. There would be a lot less hate, fear, suicides, failed marriages... and so on. Anyway, there are not so many LGBT people in the world, that we would have to fear the extinction of the human race."

Chief Yagami looked at him speechless with eyes wide. Light also. L sat down on a chair next to Light's bed and added: "do you have any other stupid remarks?"

L's words hit him. Soichiro Yagami didn't know what to think or what to say. He just shook his head. All his past beliefs were slowly beginning to lose ground. But he decided not to give up on his beliefs so easily. He need to think.

But as for L's presence beside his son, he relented a little. As he began to feel a little dizzy, he decided to go out to catch the fresh air. "I'll leave you two for a while alone. Watch what you do. We'll talk about this again, Ryuzaki." 

L just nodded and turned to Light. Chief Yagami left the room and the two were left alone.

"Light..." L began to speak and reached out to caress the younger man's face. "I missed you so much. Sorry I didn't come to you sooner..."

In Light's eyes tears began to form again. His throat tightened and he couldn't speak. He was happy to finally have the detective beside him. Slowly he began to rise to a sitting position.

"Light, don't get up, rest..." But Light had a strong desire to draw L into his arms and didn't calm down until he did just that. He put his hands around L's neck and tucked his face into the man's white sweatshirt. Then he began to sob softly.

L placed his palms on Light's back and stroked it slowly and gently.

...

Detective L was accepted into Light's family at least as far as Sachiko and Sayu were concerned. Chief Yagami was still reluctant to accept the whole situation, but he didn't oppose them to be together. 

Light and L started living together in an apartment that L bought in Light's hometown. 

Light continued his education and worked alongside L on his cases. Light's memories of the Death note were lost forever, and the note L found, he returned it back to the shinigami after examination. The second Death note was also returned to the other shinigami. Ryuk and Rem decided not to mention Light or Misa that they owned the notebooks, and left the human world together in peace.


End file.
